Last night I had a strange dream.  In pursuit of a tried and tested desi American dream, I was apparently driving a taxi in Washington the night of the President’s State of the Union address to the Congress.  It was getting late, I had no passengers and I was driving by the Capitol Building when I saw a formally dressed couple standing on the sidewalk waving for a ride.  As I stopped my taxi to pick them up, imagine my shock when I realized they were none other than Barrack and Michelle Obama!  Don’t ask me why they didn’t have their security and political posse around.  I had no clue why they were ditching the normal cavalcade of a Presidential ride for a Taxi ride.  It was like being inside a David Lynch movie – strange and delectable, but you always know it is bullshit and not really happening.

As they settled into the backseat, Obama said “White House please!”

Off I went, still stunned and speechless.

BO: “So, how was it honey!  You think I knocked them dead!?”

So it isn’t true.  He doesn’t actually carry a teleprompter with him at all times and he doesn’t need one to talk to his wife.  Uh.. rumors!!

Mrs. O didn’t seem all that impressed.

MO: “It was alright dear.”

BO: “Just alright!?  Come on now.  You know no speech of mine can be just alright.  How about that bit when I said I didn’t take on health care because it was a good political move?  That was funny?  Wasn’t it?”

Silence from Mrs. O.

BO: “Or when I asked how long we can put America’s future on hold by not tackling the tough issues.. that should have resonated with the folks, right?”

MO: “I don’t know dear.”

BO: “And I demonstrated yet again how much of a uniter I am.. that I only intend to operate with bipartisanship.  You saw how I scolded both the democrats and the republicans about turning every little issue into a political contest!?”.

MO: “But you are a democrat honey.”

BO: “I know.. but great presidents rise above political partisanship.  You know how I model myself after Abraham Lincoln.  Keep your friends close, and keep your enemies even closer.”

MO: “I have news for you O.  You are not Abraham Lincoln and this is not 1861, and your enemies like nothing better than to see you fail at every thing you do.”

BO: “Come on Michelle.. you know I mean well.  I just don’t want to abuse our  majority in the house and the senate.  Besides, the republicans will come around.  Look.. even you rejected me when I first asked you out, but just like you, they will eventually give into my irresistible charm and wit. ”

Mrs. O is visibly miffed now.

MO: “I can’t believe you are comparing me to those a-holes.  Did you see the smirks on their faces when you announced that 3o billions from the Wall street bailout funds will be used for small business incentives?  Watch out for a fresh wave of propaganda painting you as a communist and a socialist.  They are not interested in fixing anything.  They are only interested in burying you and spitting on your grave.”

BO: “They will come around when they realize I have no hidden agendas here.”

MO: “I don’t think anyone questions your intentions dear.  Thats why the people elected you with such a huge majority.  But what good does having right intentions do if you are not acting on them. ”

BO: “Like I said tonight, I want to bring a change in Washington and bring back that respect and confidence in politics to our people.”

MO: “At what cost?  What happened to the lofty goals of your health care reforms?  How watered down can you let your plans become to appease those that hate your guts.  The republicans don’t give a shit for your ideals or your ambitions.  If you are such a uniter, why don’t you get your own party representatives to unite and get things done.”

BO: “I believe in working towards a consensus in tackling major issues such as health care and energy.”

MO: “Uh!  You seriously think the buffoons who spread rumors that you are an Arab to get people to hate you, who run campaigns claiming you are not even a US citizen and who never lose an opportunity to brand you as a second coming of Karl Marx give a flying fuck about your health care reform or your energy plan?  Meanwhile, here you are, planning your greatness and preaching to these people how they should behave when the people who elected you want you to focus on fixing the problems they are straddled with.”

BO: “Thats harsh.  Like I mentioned earlier tonight, I was left with a shit pile of issues to deal with… economy, health care, trillion dollar deficit, environment, energy.. you of all the people should know this.”

MO: “Yes, but you can only talk about doing great things for so long.. at some point you should just do it instead of preaching about being buddy-buddy with the republicans.”

BO: “Yes, but I look cool talking about it!”

And then I heard a noise, breaking up my unusual dream in the middle of the night.  I woke up to the rerun of the GOP rebuttal from the Virginia Governor on the TV that wasn’t shut off.  Carefully flanked by demographically diverse group of people, this can put the best late night infomercial to shame.  Black, Chinese, aged, military, women.. they covered all their bases.  But wait.. not even a token desi in that group?  Dissed as usual.. even in a phony political setup!

GOP Rebuttal.. puts the best infomercial to shame