Argh.. that white stuff again (click to go to my flickr photostream)

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening,
In the lane, snow is glistening
A beautiful sight,
We’re happy tonight.
Walking in a winter wonderland.

Since we rarely get to hear any Christmas songs this time of the year, I thought I’ll throw this one out there.

I’ve heard of the new concept cars with no steering wheels, but you don’t need a new car to feel what that’s like.  I went through a no-steering navigation experience of my own today, courtesy of my car swirling itself through the heap of snow that hit us overnight, disobeying whatever directions I was attempting to provide through the steering wheel.  Since it had a mind of its own, I figured I might as well leave the steering alone and take this picture of the winter wonderland that unfolded in front of me, from inside my car. After eventually reaching home, I spent the next hour shoveling my driveway knowing very well I have to do this all over again tomorrow.

Yes, the first big winter storm of the season is here. The white stuff has descended upon us and the projections are that this winter is going to be worse than the last one. Great, that should keep my spirits up through the next four months! For someone coming from a warm place who never experienced snow before, funny how what used to be an interesting novelty quickly turned into a dreadful endurance.

What started of as “O look! Snow flakes! How beautiful! Let me run out and catch some of these. I don’t know what all this fuss about bad weather is.. this is so cool,” quickly turned into “Oh man! The ugly white stuff is here! I have to go home and shovel the damn driveway. @#$%! 4 more months of this shit to look forward to.”

You get no respite from it. You are always aware of it. You can only travel from one heated building to another heated building in a heated locomotive and on those unfortunate occasions when you are required to walk outside in this winter wonderland, you clench your fists and grind your teeth and wipe your constantly running nose while holding your breath underneath the 10 layers of clothing that you have to remember to wear every time you step out. Essentially, for the next four months, you are living inside a refiregerator, trying to protect yourself in small heated compartments.

When it snows, ain’t it thrilling,
Though your nose gets a chilling
We’ll frolic and play, the Eskimo way,
Walking in a winter wonderland.

When it snows, ain’t it thrilling? Yes it is, if you are a damn penguin and not a human being.  Uh.. I look outside and I don’t see any kids frolicking the Eskimo way.. they are all bundled up inside with their parents watching the weather channel hoping the snow stops falling.  To begin with, has anyone ever seen a frolicking Eskimo?  Poor creatures, they look like they are always depressed and who can blame them?  I am suspecting there will be a few snowmen built tomorrow by folks who feel that it is their parental obligation to do it with their kids even as they curse their way through the next four months.  They might even brainwash their unsuspecting kids into believing how wonderful this winter weather is, but they know once their children grow up, they will wise up and call this bullshit, exposing them for yet another ruse among a long list of cunning subterfuges employed by them; this one intending to beguile their kids into suffering through this so called winter wonderland.

And no, I haven’t bought into the nonsense of “getting to enjoy the change of seasons and experiencing all four seasons in a year.” What I’ve experienced is hours of shoveling at a stretch, scraping the ice off my car’s windshield while freezing my butt off followed by 2 hours of inching my way on a slippery freeway for what is normally a 20 min drive – enough times now to realize that sunny and 70 degrees throughout the year is a monotony I could gladly live with.. sacrificing the “pleasures” of walking in the winter wonderland. Trust me, it is very overrated.

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